1. test administrator: when you finish your test go back and read over your answers
    2. me: i'm never goin back the past is in the past
     
  1. professorgo:

    The guy on the left, since he shows clear disgust with having his picture taken suddenly without permission. The guy on the right has had so little sleep that his grip on reality and emotions has left him

    (Source: generic-art, via theirsmilesdontfade)

     
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  3. dirtylittledamsel:

    when he asks for nudes but you’re not in the mood

    image

    (via bro-sam)

     
  4. e-zekiel:

    cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
    Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

    (Source: heathledgers, via notenuf)

     
  5. cataclysmz:

    counterculture-queen:

    gingahhh:

    things to not put in your butt

    I WATCHED THIS VIDEO BEFORE I LOST MY VIRGINITY BECAUSE THE TITLE WAS FUNNY AND I AM SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE WHEN I WAS DOING THE DO I THOUGHT OF IT AND QUOTED IT SO THE GUY I WAS WITH HAD TO STOP AND SIT DOWN FOR 10 MINUTES. WE GOT PIZZA INSTEAD OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE. MEMORIES.

    IT’S LIKE THEY ARE MAKING AN ASS SOUP IN THERE

    (Source: dilatatum, via peterswebmemhi)

     
     

  6. chevalierdog:

    today some guy with a mine craft shirt came up and ordered some bologna and the price came up as 4.04 and he said “4.04… bologna not found” under his breath

    (via theirsmilesdontfade)

     

  7. spookythug:

    i want a friend with benefits (dental and medical insurance, 401k retirement plan, etc.)

    (via bro-sam)

     
  8. alxsie:

    3dsmallperson:

    this little baby is smiling a lot! he did a great job and found around 250,000 tabs of ecstasy!!

    that dog is gonna be off his face

    (Source: 3dsmall, via theirsmilesdontfade)

     

  9. chasingtrophywhitetails:

    I need a make out session so intense that I forget all my problems and possibly my name.

    (via maryyannneeee)

     

    1. me: *sees dog*
    2. me: *forgets what im talking about and points out dog*
     
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  11. validx2:

    When i walk in the kitchen and see bacon on the table

    image

    (via youtubenutcase)

     

  12. charmancler:

    i’ve never met nicki minaj but i trust her

    (via shrek2001ratedpg)

     
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